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Ever thought to yourself…”Coming, Ready or Not! (Liv Honeywell and Domitri Xavier)

by on September 25, 2013

I hope you don’t mind, Lori, but I’ve brought my writing partner, Domitri Xavier, along today. We’re working on Shreds from our Her Master’s Voice series, which is a much lighter book than The Journal, and here’s Domitri’s take on the fun side of BDSM with a sneak peek unedited excerpt from Shreds, followed by some of my thoughts and a short excerpt from my book, Coming, Ready or Not!

Here’s Domitri’s side of things:

Sex scenes in real life rarely play out like they do in the movies. Well they don’t, do they? Bras remain truculent items for men and undoing a button in the heat of passion can become a mission impossible. They never bump teeth in the movies, do they? You know what I mean. Sex is great but sex is funny sometimes and we need to smile at ourselves as we bumble on, trying to express our love for each other with as much intent as possible. Without knocking the night stand over.

If sex is funny, then how much more so is BDSM, and yet many people who adopt this lifestyle seem to leave their sense of humour firmly locked up and out if the way. Of course, there are times when solemnity is called for; and in no way am I taking a poke at those people who want to live their lives that way. But it can also be funny; perhaps not laugh out loud funny, but at least enough to bring a smile to the face.

My first sub was a lovely girl; a visiting student from Australia. She begged me to tie her up so that she could spend all night lying next to me and bound. I shudder to think of this now because of how little I knew. I tied her up with ropes and straps (and chains, as I seem to remember.)

“You won’t get out of that in a hurry,” I said with great confidence.

I went to brush my teeth and returned to find her sitting at the dressing table putting on some of that stuff women put on at night.

“You’ll have to do better than that,” she smiled. And I smiled too because she knew I hadn’t had much experience and I was able (just!) to laugh at my own ineptitude.

As I said, I don’t necessarily mean laugh out loud funny. But often a scene between a Dom and a sub is described as a ‘play’ session and what I advocate is playing with a slightly lighter heart sometimes. Not every time. But sometimes.

What follows is a scene from Liv and I’s book, Shreds, which shows exactly what I’m talking about. Here, it is the Master’s birthday and as far as the slave (Livia) is concerned, they are off out for a meal to celebrate. But things take a different turn because the Master wants to have some fun (he is a sadist after all!). In our book, The Journal, the tone was much more serious and downbeat because Livia had done something wrong – a breach of trust – and she had to be punished. The later book is the Master at play, doing things just because it pleases him. And just for fun…

Here’s a short excerpt:

I was going, as they say, to have me some fun. But there was no reason for Livia to know that. I wanted to keep her in the dark for as long as possible. I had already shown my love for her; that hug with her arms over my shoulders was meant to be genuinely reassuring; now for something completely different.

I took her by the hand and led her in the direction of my study where I kept all the tools of my trade.

“It is my birthday…” I mumbled as we walked along the short passageway.


I thought she genuinely didn’t hear me.

“It doesn’t matter, I’m just mumbling,” I mumbled, with not quite enough diction for her to reassemble the discreet words in her head.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t…”

I said another sentence, this time bearing no relationship to actual English, just a series of garbled sounds. I knew I was frustrating her.

“Master, I’m so sorry.  I can’t hear what you’re saying to me.”

By this time we had reached my study and I spun her around and squinted into her eyes with a look of mock irritation. At least I knew it was mock. I screwed my eyes up.

“What?” I said, now in a firmer and darker tone.

“I’m so sorry, Master, I didn’t quite catch what you…”

“Flamingos never fly on Tuesdays.”

I had already turned my head away from her as I spouted this piece of nonsense.

“I-I-I. Really, I…”

I was enjoying her discomfort so much I didn’t want to stop. By now fumbling around in the drawers of one of my tables, I said,

“I think fly fishing is a dangerous pursuit and should be avoided at all costs.”

I slurred the words just enough this time to make them sound like words but not enough to make sense, or indeed make possible a credible reply. She tried, though, bless her.

“Of course we can go fly fishing if…”

“Oh do shut up. I lost interest in that sentence before the first words reached my ears. Hand me the dress.”

Okay my (Liv’s) turn. Reading that excerpt from Shreds when Domitri first sent it to me, I knew I had to reply from the slave’s point of view and that, of course, she wouldn’t know he was having fun with her. She would have no choice but to try to reply seriously to everything he said. Knowing Marcus (and Domitri) as I do, I certainly wouldn’t want to be in a position where I laughed because I thought he was joking when he was being completely serious. Trust me, it wouldn’t be pretty! So yes, that scene is fun – for the Dom, but not so much, at the time, for the slave.

In Coming, Ready or Not, on the other hand, Abby knows perfectly well that Will is teasing her and loving it. It’s still one-sided, as in to the Dom’s advantage, but she does know that to an extent, she can be a little playful too.

Here’s a short excerpt where things go completely wrong for Abby and even Will has to see the humour in the situation:

I feel your breath on my inner thighs, your tongue flicking over the now crimson skin of my pussy. You lick ever so gently all round the edge of my labia and then your tongue plunges inside me and I cry out.

“Oh Sir. Please, Sir.”

Your finger presses against my clit again, and you look up long enough to say, once more. “Not yet. Don’t you dare.”

You don’t think you’re going to be thinking about the laundry and DIY in the middle of sex, do you? Painting the hall, plastering the kitchen? It never occurs to you that you’d think about any such things. Perhaps your parents might do that, but not you, oh no.

And yet, here I am, mentally counting and pairing socks while the evil, sadistic love of my life licks me so delicately inside and out; his tongue lapping at my clit, sucking it and… No! Don’t think about that. Socks! Green ones, blue ones, black ones, the pink ones with the little white flowers (mine, not Will’s!). Think about so… sock… No. Oh no. Ohhhhh. Nooo.

“Soooooooooooooocks,” I yell, as if my life depends on it.

Oh no. Please no.


I open one eye, cautiously, and then the other, to find myself nose to nose with my tormentor.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt. “I’m so sorry, Sir.”

“Did you just come? Did you just dare to come without my permission?”

“Yes, Sir. I’m sorry. I really am.”

Your lips twitch ever so slightly.

“And what was that you just yelled?”

I blush and squirm on the, by now, sopping chair.

“Erm, nothing, Sir. Nothing at all.”

“Did you just yell ‘sucks’?”

“No, Sir. I…Not sucks. Socks.”

“Socks. I see. Well, okay then. Why…? No, actually, I’m not even going to ask.”

You can’t keep your face straight any longer and let out a roar of laughter.

So we’d love to know, what has gone humorously wrong when you’ve been playing?

Comment below to win an ebook copy of Coming, Ready or Not! Three Tales of Tease and Denial.

Liv HoneywellBack Cover Copy:

Meet Will and Abby. An ordinary couple that you wouldn’t give a second glance at if they were walking down the street. Except they share a wonderful secret and bond as they explore their Master/slave relationship.

This is a loving couple, full of good humour, but nothing in any relationship is perfect and sometimes things go wrong. Even the strongest will in the world can’t always obey and with that comes consequences…

Three vignettes, The Edge, Bad Girl, and Breathless focus on control. Can Abby be taken to the edge of pleasure and not cross over? She wants to obey and to hold on. But can she? And what will happen to her if she can’t?

Holding on has never felt so good…


Buying Links:

Amazon US –

Amazon UK –



Liv Honeywell

When not writing about delicious, hot male dominants and the female subs who love them, I’m usually doing something craft-like, reading, baking, eating the results of said baking, and attempting to satisfy the demands of His High and Mighty Dominance (the cat!).

You can follow me on my blog –, Twitter –, Facebook –, Goodreads – and my Amazon page is here:


Domitri Xavier

Domitri Xavier is not only an author of erotic fiction and poetry, he also has a parallel career as a pianist and composer. Under another name, he is also a published author of books and poems for children.

He is an active Dom/Master and delights in all that brings; from damsels in distress to always getting his own way in domestic disputes. [If only this were true. Ed]

He has little time for hobbies being one of those extraordinarily fortunate people who makes a modest living by doing the things he loves best. He is an ardent chess player but has yet to record a victory, although he did come close once when he took on an eight year old girl.

He lives and works in the UK.

His poems have been published on Bitten Press’s website – and his first book, The Journal, co-authored with Liv Honeywell, is out now.

You can find Domitri on Facebook –, his Facebook friend page is, his blog is, his Goodreads page is and his Amazon page is

From → Blog Roll

  1. A day late (sorry about that – lots to do yesterday) but I’m here, and we’ve picked a winner of the ebook.

    *Drum roll*

    The winner is… Chintz Curtain 🙂

    Thank you everyone for commenting 🙂

  2. Joanne permalink

    OMG that was so funny and an image did appear in my head…Domitri and Liv its great as always to read an interview from you both xxx

  3. Lori, thank you for having us on your blog, and thank you everyone for commenting 🙂

  4. Oops. I forgot to add, we’ll pick a winner for the ebook on Friday 27th September to give people chance to comment 🙂

  5. In answer to the question we asked, I once had a Dom do electrical play on me. He was frowning and doing the big, evil domly glare at me while getting everything ready and then he accidentally managed to shock his own teeth! I tried not to laugh. I really did… 😉

  6. Lisa Carlton permalink

    OMG I am at work reading this and am laughing so hard I have tears running down my face…..I am picturing this scene in my head…..have to read all of this

  7. Still laughing about the socks. What’s gone humorously wrong? Well, there was the time we got wax stuck to just about everything in a ten metre radius …

    • Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed the excerpt :). Oh that must have taken some cleaning up! I don’t envy you the job, though I bet the play was fun 🙂

  8. Hi Lori 🙂

    Thank you so much for letting us visit.


    • Thank you both for coming! I cracked up when I read the scene with the socks, because I’ve done that sort of thing!

      • Thanks Lori. I’m glad it made you laugh :). I may possibly admit to doing that sort of thing myself 😉

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