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Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, I’ll see you in 2013!

by on December 23, 2012

cute-dogs-150The Christmas Spirit has left me this year. Unfortunately, I’ve found myself “ba hum bugging” every joyful holiday song, and sweet bell ringing Salvation Army volunteer, as I fought the crowds and the weather to buy presents. I’m not usually a pessimistic person, in fact most of the time I will look at the glass as half full, but this year I’ve just been buried under a pile of dog doo doo for the whole month of December. I suppose it started in November when my Grandfather died the day after Thanksgiving. I was at a loss, because prior to that week, he had been just fine and was actually thriving in the assisted living home he had just entered this summer. And then life knocked his feet out from under him, literally. The doctor decided he had to have both legs amputated to above his knees the day before Thanksgiving. His diabetes had caused sores, which had gone septic, and he was losing them anyway. So he endured a long painful surgery that he had little chance of surviving. To our amazement, he made it through with flying colors, but by Friday morning he was gone. Just like that.

16100_10151299307547432_1724277817_nI picked up and carried on after his death, as the survivors are wont to do, but  then 20 children and 6 adults were killed in Newtown, CO. Those babies were just beginning their lives, and a mad man stole it. That was hard enough to process , but then last Sunday on Dec 16, 2012, two police officers were gunned down in my home town while responding to a suspicious vehicle call. One of them was a longtime friend of my family, and it was heartbreaking to realize he was gone. Pride bubbles up inside my throat when I think about him now, because he was a hero in his daily life, as much as he was an everyday man. His wife, children, and grandchildren will miss him in the days and years to come much more than I, but I wonder if they realize how much he touched my life too.

Then Friday, December 21st, 2012, I got the call that has stopped the forward motion for me yet again. The day that the world was supposed to end for all of mankind, was the day that it actually did end for my older cousin, her husband, her three children, her parents, her siblings, her extended family, and a small community where she grew up. My cousin died of cancer at the young age of 35, leaving three children behind ages 4, 12, and 14. They don’t deserve to watch their mother die that way, but they were forced to. If the world were fair, they would have gotten just one more Christmas with her, but it’s not, so they didn’t.

So forgive me, but I have struggled to find my inner holiday spirit. When I look at the Christmas tree, I see family ornaments I made two decades ago when my Grandfather lived with us. When I walk through my hometown to purchase gifts, I see black posters with a thin blue line streaking across them to honor our fallen officers. When I see my children’s happy faces as they take in the gifts under the tree, or the snow on the ground, all I can think about is the children that don’t have a mother anymore. Experience only shows us how to get through something like this, and continue to live, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I pray for a better year in 2013, and I do pray for a Merry Christmas for all of my friends, readers, family, and loved ones.

If you would like to do anything to honor all of those that were lost this year, in your family, mine or otherwise, I ask that you go to and find a soldier that is asking for support. Lord knows there are so many of them. Don’t worry about them not receiving it until after the holidays, believe me, they still want it!

  Click here to Adopt our Troops any time of the year!

Click here to Adopt our Troops any time of the year!

I will be taking a mini vacation from the blog until after the New Year when I will return with a new release: Legacy of the Wolf, and hopefully a brighter outlook. Until then, don’t forget to Live, Laugh, and Love like today is your only chance~Lori

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