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How Kinky is your Kinky?

by on December 11, 2012

So a fellow Siren author posted a question the other day about the descriptors used for her new book. Apparently, she had written a scene in which the hero puts his hand on the heroine’s throat during sex-mind you there was NO choking, and no restriction of the airway-however, the editor labeled it as Erotic Asphyxiation.375938_s (2)

This got me thinking (please control your laughter, I do it on a rare occasion) how kinky is your kinky? When you read erotic romance, how kinky can you handle it? I’ve seen reviews for hardcore BDSM books where the readers were flabbergasted that there were scenes involving whips, canes, and a St. Andrew’s cross. *rolling my eyes* It’s labeled BDSM for a reason people! And I’ve seen reviews on books that were ménage themed, when the reader was disgusted by the fact that more than one man wanted to share their woman.  *rolling the eyes again* Really? Did you not see the cover where one woman is surrounded by three hot men???

What I’m wondering, is where do you draw the line when picking books to purchase? Is spanking the strongest form of discipline you can tolerate without getting the willies? Or can you go all the way to edge, and enjoy a little bit of knife play, or hot wax? In a book we can explore things that we wouldn’t necessarily try in real life. We can escape our own reality for a few hours or minutes, and enjoy the freedom that comes from acceptance, and tolerance. But for some people it’s more about a personal comfort level. So what about you?

Let me take a quick trip down memory lane to the moment that I told my father I had written an erotic romance novel that was being published. My father is old school. He was raised in a world where people pretended that sex didn’t even exist. So you can imagine his shock that his daughter not only admitted it, but embraced it and wanted to talk about it with the whole darn world. Believe me I’m not sure I’ve ever seen quite that same shade of red on his face…well maybe the day I told him I wanted to grow up to be a Playboy bunny…but clearly that career option didn’t pan out. To my surprise, as much as uncomfortable as he was at the idea; he actually embraced my success and told me he was proud of me. He won’t read the books, but he is supporting me.

7249299_s (2)Everyone has a limit to what they can accept in the world of kink. Maybe you can fantasize about walking into a BDSM club wearing nothing but a dog collar and hooker boots, but you would never have the guts to actually display your dimpled cheeks to the world like that. Maybe you long for the day when you can freely crack a whip on someone’s backside without the fear of arrest?

Share and share alike! I personally like to read the kinky stories, but my sister cringes when I bring up D/s….what do you think?

As always Live, Laugh and LOVE like today is your only chance!~Lori

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3 Comments
  1. I recently had a chat with a lady who described herself as “Vanilla”. Plain, normal, nothing unusual. After further discussion it turns out, she enjoys spanking, hair pulling, “mild” choking, and if possible, sex in a public place. Certainly not Vanilla…but subjectively she saw herself as such.

    How kinky is my kinky? Not really sure….average? Normal? Vanilla Kink? Maybe there is a line that you have to cross that makes kinky more than “average” kinky. Like if you have more than one closet dedicated to male corsets, perhaps that’s one more than average. =P

    • Excellent point AussyDog. It’s extremely subjective. Each person has a different level of tolerance and perception of what “kinky” actually is.

  2. For me personally The kinkier the better…I lover reading these scenes all hot and steamy weather it’s a BDSM scene or ménage I like it all….I do have a line though….I don’t like people being hit in a scene in the way of being hurt like drawing blood, the choking thing I can handle but I’m not a fan and absolutely no fire play or knife play just. Not into that and I don’t think I would want to read about it….most everything else is fair game …the hot wax scenes I read are really hot … I think for most of us when we read these scenes we are living out a lot of our own dark fantasies….I know I am…

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