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Erotic vs Romance

by on August 17, 2012

I’m a writer. I’ve written short stories. I’ve written poetry. I’ve written plays. I’ve written erotica. I’ve written eulogies. I’ve written newspaper editorials. I’ve written blog posts. And I’ve written full length books.

Just recently, I published an Erotic Romance book with Siren-Bookstrand, Fire of the Wolf. My point is that no matter what I’m writing, I’m still a writer.  I’ve been labelled and Erotic Romance author, and while I have happily embraced the title, because I see it as a badge of honor, I have received some interesting feedback regarding the genre of writing.  No one has been outright rude, or disrespectful, but I have seen some people that I have been friends with for years suddenly distance themselves from my life. Perhaps I should have expected that, considering so much of the American population has declared themselves against sex education, against homosexuality, against hypersexuality, and against exploring sexuality in general. But for some reason my naive inner three year old wants to stomp my foot, and yell “Listen up you doodoo heads, it’s time to act like grown ups and stop judging people!” but clearly that won’t help the situation. Of course it might make me feel just a wee bit soothed, but that’s for another day.

What I don’t understand is why I am so much more acceptable when I’m introduced as a Romance author, versus being introduced as an Erotic Romance author. Seriously? Do we have to get all red in the face over the word erotic? Didn’t we do that in the seventh grade? I don’t believe that any writer should back down from their preferred genre, but I believe that E.R. authors walk two sides of a very fine gray line. Women want to read the sexy scenes, and the hot words, but many don’t want to want it. I find myself sad for the people who have repressed their own sexuality enough that just reading a sex scene would cause them to toss the book aside based on it’s “inappropriate themes”.

I’m curious at what point the story goes from Romantic, to Erotic Romance, and vise versa. If I use the word cum is it automatically in the E.R. category? Is it better if I call it her rose of femininty instead of using the term pussy? Why is one more socially acceptable than the other?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t write children’s books. I get that. I don’t promote, market, or even share my books with the underage crowd, but not because I see anything wrong with their content. It’s because then current naive societal belief is that minors under the age of 21 don’t have sex, think about sex, or want to know about sex.  Let me just be clear; they do, they want to, they will, they are. Now let’s move on. I’ll continue to be a writer, and maybe someday no one will feel the need to put my name under a specific category for the genre I write. Instead it will just say Lori King-Author.

As always Live, Laugh, and Love like today is your only chance!~Lori

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  1. Part of the problem comes from the romance writer community itself. Those of us who write erotic romance or erotica are often treated as the relative that everyone else in the family tries to distance themselves from and not admit they’re related. If our own “family” treats us like a dirty little secret, why would readers or the media treat us any differently?

    With the media hoopla over the Fifty Shades books, I’m hoping this stigma starts to fade a bit if not go away altogether. I write what I want to write, what I find entertaining and what turns me on. I write how I talk and sometimes that’s pretty vulgar. So what. That’s real life whether people what to accept that or not. So for those readers looking for that kind of story, erotica and erotic romance books are their cup of tea. For those who don’t, there are plenty of other categories to choose from. That’s why I write romance because there is something for everyone!

    Great blog, Lori! I for one and thrilled you write the way you do. Hurry up and get more Gray Pack books out! 😉

    • I have to admit Tammy I’ve been surprised by the Fifty Shades hoopla. I have never been ashamed or embarrassed by sexuality, so I guess in my little world I just figured everyone read those books in private. LOL Boy have I been surprised. I do however think that everyone loves a happy ending, and that’s ultimately what we give them in our stories. Whether or not we get a little vulgar shouldn’t matter. Thanks for coming by!

  2. Daniela permalink

    Hi Lori,
    Writers write; this is what they/we do. If we are painters we would paint. Was Botticelli a fantastic artist and a painter? Of course! As a writer, or any artist, we will always come across those who do not like, approve or whatever with our ways … and this is precisely why is important to stay true to one self. Otherwise all we will be doing is trying to please people …
    Best of Luck

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